Rajnikanth Jokes : Rajni mania beats Santa Banta

A bit of trivia for those who don’t know  Rajnikanth.

Here’s the best collection of Rajnikanth Jokes.

1. Facebook founder Mark Zukerberg hospitalised with serious injury… Rajnikanth poked him on Facebook.

2. Google can never find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

3. NASA has shut down since Rajnikanth has bought all its rockets for diwali!!!

4. Rajnikant did what even the U.S Army couldn’t. End Iran!

5. Rajnikanth ate the missing piece of Apple logo.

6. Death once had a near Rajnikanth experience.

7. Viagra needs Rajnikanth.

8. When Rajnikanth does push-ups he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

9. Rajnikanth can write on a READ ONLY file.

10. Rajnikanth knows what came first- the egg or chicken.

11.This is for all the CID fans. Rajnikanth once taught a kid how to open a door without ringing a door bell…that kid has grown up and has become inspector Daya from CID.

12. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

13. Rajnikanth can count to infinity he has already done it twice.

14. Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.

15. Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced.

16. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

17. Rajnikanth can drown a fish.
18. Rajnikanth once kicked horse in the chin, now its descendants are called Giraffe.

19. Rajnikanth makes onions cry.

20. Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

21. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

22. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

23. Once a girl lost her virginity…Rajnikanth gave it back to her.

24. Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

25. When Rajnikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajnikanth and Rajnikanth.

26. 1st April does not appear on Rajinikanth’s calendar as no one fools Rajnikanth.

27. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

28. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikanth lives in Chennai!

29. Rajnikanth once challenged Superman. The loser wore the underwear outside his pants!

30. The world will not end in 2012, Rajnikanth just bought a laptop with 3 year warranty.

31. Michael Jordon: I can spin a basketball on my finger for 2 hours…..can you? Rajinikanth: How do you think the Earth spins?

32. A child went to Kashmir and started playing by making small mountains from ice.Today those mountains are called Himalayas and the child is now Rajnikanth.

33. Rajnikanth showed his wife …”the middle finger ” and she got pregnant.

34. Rajinikanth participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came first. But Einstein died after that…..WHY? Because light came second!

35. Once Rajnikant decided to stare at sun… The Sun got scared and hid behind moon,
this is called as SOLAR ECLIPSE.

36. Disclaimer on Rajani’s sunglasses “Protection For the Sun”.

37. I stay in Delhi and once emailed a friend who stays in Bangalore, Rajnikanth stopped the email halfway at Mumbai.

38. Rajani’s Fart is called ………….Rajani gandha.

39. Rajnikanth doesn’t believe in God, Instead God believes in Rajnikanth.

40. Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret.

41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.

42. Rajnikanth built Rome in one day.

43. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

44. Aliens exist because they are afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikanth.

45. What are earthquakes ? They occur when Rajnikanth shivers in the cold.

46. Rajnikanth has already won the third world war.

47. Rajinikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

48. The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajinikanth are his films.

49. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

50. There are no such things as lesbians, just women who never met Rajnikant.

51. Back in Serbia a street was named ‘rajnikant’ in his honour. the council had to rename it soon after as people were dying on it. no-one crosses rajnikant and lives.

52. Rajnikanth can make fire by rubbing two ice cubes.

53. Only Rajnikanth can make wind visible.

54. Rajnikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

55. Archaeologists excavated an old dictionary dating back to the year 1200 which defines victim as someone who has encountered Rajnikanth.

56. Rajnikanth once went to Mars since then there’ve been no life in the planet.

57. Genies rub Rajnikanth and he grants them 3 wishes.

58. Rajnikanth can mix hydrogen and oxygen to produce water whenever he feels thirsty.

59. If you want to contact Rajnikanth then note down his email id: gmail@rajnikanth.com.

60. While uploading the post my internet connection conked out. But still I could upload it because the post was about Rajnikanth.

61. Intel’s new punchline: Rajnikath Inside.

Know more Rajnikanth jokes?  Then do share with us !

12 comments

  • While playing once Rajnikanth said statue to a girl..now its know as Statue of Liberty!….Rajinikanths jokes are stress busters and they are surely not bigger or better than his movies.

  • Antonio Bristow

    Really a good collection of Rajni jokes…But I don’t find any Chunky Pandey joke…

  • Antonio Babbage

    Good jokes….point 8,33,29….wow..and wow..

  • Hi…! Nice jokes. Let me share one with you.

    Once Rajnikant went to Japan and lost his mobile phone. He returned without that but Japan is still suffering. How is that possible???

    Whenever there is an earthquake in Japan, it is just because of Rajnikant. Because he lost the mobile there and it was in vibration mode. Now whenever he gives a missed call, there is an earthquake in japan.

    I wish he stops giving such missed calls otherwise our future generation will not be able to see Japan on the world map.

  • No. 59 is fantastic…!!! waiting for more from you…

  • Ekbar Rajnikant aur Bhagwan ka fight hua tha…..

    Result…????

    Aaj Bhagwan upor hai…!

  • Rajnikant doesn’t turn lights on, he turns darkness off!

  • Rajnikant is the only person to finish reading ‘facebook’ !

  • Thanks Subhojit! will add these to the list of jokes!

  • how do u ppl feel like cracking jokes upon such a humble person…Rajinikanth….. u mom fuckrs

  • Once rajini looked @ me and savith is the result, u can c msg above;)

  • love uuhhh rajni kant

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